I recently wrote a short article on being new to the scene. In all honesty it got a lot more of a reaction that I’d been expecting. It was really just about sense and taking care of yourself as a newcomer to the scene.
This is by no means comprehensive but it does include a few of the more obvious warning signs of predatory behaviour off the top of my head.
- Attempting to isolate you from information.
- Attempting to isolate you from your friends.
- Attempting to prevent you from talking to experienced people within the scene.
- Ignoring limits.
- Being told that you can’t have limits.
- Being told that slave contracts are legaly binding.
- Telling you that theirs is the only true way.
- Extravagant and unrealistic claims of experience.
- Stories changing and becomeing more exagerated.
- An attitude that there’s nothing for them to learn.
In a way it’s a little depressing. I’ve been into kink for more than 20 years now and I can remember people talking about predators when I first found the local scene. The advice I can give and the signs to identify the predatory time are little changed in all that time. From since before the internet (if you can believe there was such a time) the cycles of human behaviour have remained much the same.