If I could be sentimental for a moment... Without a doubt, without question my partner in life Clover is the best part of that life. I cannot imagine life without her and cannot imagine I'd be the person I am now were we not together. She's taken some of my sharper edges off and I'm better for having known her. I've also caused her to be a bit more like me in some ways, you may debate amongst yourselves if that's a good thing or not. Our lives in and out of kink are intertwined with who we are and everything we do to such an extent it's all just aspects of who we are and in all of those aspects she is a part of my life and who I am, who I've become. She loves me and wants the best for me. That's something amazing for me. Something very precious that makes life so much better. I want the best for her too. I so very much want for her to be happy and perhaps selfishly I want to be a cause of her happiness. When it seems people are mad and the world is going crazy we have each other. I'm generally an up and doing kind of person and Clover's usually got a todo list the length of your arm but between us in a morning warm together in bed there is a beautiful stillness where the world can go hang and the world can wait 'just a few more minutes' until we have to get up and get on with the work of the day. This is a love letter. One that could only be sent in the internet age. [...]
I wanted to point out that the feelings and emotional reactions we have with shibari are normal human feelings, we all have these feelings and we all need to be able to recognise those feelings and be able to deal with them.
Well we had a great time in Charlottesville. We didn't get to see too much of the town but that's par for the course when we make these very short trips to teach and return home. In this intensive I added some things that I haven't been teaching before, my method TK, reverse prayer shibari and my version of the chest loading TK. I'd created the chest loading variant some years ago before going to Bound in Boston to teach and only showed it to one person while we were there (guess who). It was a little bit of a nervous moment for me, I've been working through various versions of my TK for several years refining it to make it do what I wanted aesthetically as well as structurally. It's been a big step for me to let it out in public officially. I'm really glad that people have received it so well. The next thing to be officially taught for the first time was my chest loading TK. I guess that some purists will have comments about this but I think it is something worth teaching. It's not something that's come up a lot but now that I've shown my solution to this problem which is quite different to the others so far seen it seems I should probably have been teaching it for a few years now. It got called a game changer from bottoms feeling the difference in it and I'm a bit mad at myself for not having taught it for the last few years. Feel free to ask for it in intensives from now on. The final new thing is my method reverse prayer shibari. Prior to deciding that [...]
Well, I'm sitting here wanting to write about my experience at BED (Bondage Expo Dallas) this year and I really don't know where to begin. This event once again was just amazing. I really haven't been to a better run and friendlier event than this one. The team behind this event really go out of their way to make this event go smoothly and to take care of everyone there and I can say as a presenter that we've never felt so taken care of and welcome. I really have to mention not just the organisers but also the volunteers that make this event so special. People really give up their time and their own chances to take classes to make other people's Expo go well. Last year we extended our stay around the Expo to have some time where we weren't teaching or performing and to hang out with the people behind the event and some of the other presenters. The hospitality we get in Dallas is second to none and we love hanging out with the friends we've made there. I'm searching for a good way to put this, the team that run this event are really nice people. That's really an inadequate description though. There's not a single person running this event who isn't someone that you'd gladly hang out with. I've never known such a concentrated group of good people in one event. The event itself has a great atmosphere and never feels too crowded. One thing I love about it is that it's still small enough to have time to talk to people and pretty much everyone fits into the classes that they want. It can be a nightmare organising [...]
Inspired, if that's the right word by the new British government regulations on porn production which tries to stop UK producers making kinky stuff that has (In a broad sweep, there's a lot more fine grain that's too long to put in a caption, plus it's mainly about video)... Penetration by any object "associated with violence" represented here by a prop gun, Urolagnia (known as "water sports"), Physical restraint with all limbs tied, Gaggs and Humiliation. So... What ya gonna do? We decided to make an image with as much of these terrible things in it as possible. So here for freedom and hotness, gagged, hooded, tied up helpless, half suspended, pissed on and fucked with a gun! Hope you enjoy this little expression of kinky freedom. If you love this please direct your (adult) family and friends to this image so that they can enjoy it too! Please if you care about this then write to your MP protesting this legislation and that to follow. If you're in the UK you might want to write to your Members of parliament and as them what the fuck they're doing about this. Thanks for signing and thanks for reading. Please also read... Obscenity Lawyer Backlash UK The Mail Online The Independent The Mirror The Guardian The New Statesman
This article is one of those that you wish didn’t need to be written about. However here I am writing it anyway. So what is is that I’m going to write about here that I wish I wasn’t? Rope inflicted injuries! Rope isn’t safe, especially not suspension. However having said that it doesn’t mean that we should accept injuries as a matter of course, they should be few and far between. I am horrified when people shrug off injuries to models with an ‘oh well, these things happen’. Well once in a while maybe. When there are repeated injuries occurring it’s time to ask yourself some serious questions. When it comes to injuries some people are more ‘unlucky’ than others. Generally the better a rigger is the ‘luckier’ they tend to get. Bad riggers just tend to have more ‘accidents’ the more they rig. Now I would expect someone who has inflicted multiple injuries to stop rigging so much, to go and look at the common themes in these injuries, to work very hard to stop them occurring again. What I’m horrified to hear is ‘well these things happen’. Yeh, they happen to you don’t they? Can we guess why? When it happens to multiple models in multiple sessions you have to look for the factor that’s common to all the injuries. And that common factor is likely to be the person tying. In all the tying I’ve done, all the models, all the time, all the suspensions I’ve had 3 nerve injuries. Two of those I’ve identified the cause and can ensure that they won’t happen again. One I simply have no concrete idea, I’ve spoken to medical professionals, never had the same problem [...]
There has been some 'debate' recently about people being certified for their bondage skills. There are many arguments both for and against this idea... Individual certification Attendance Firstly it's important to remember that there are teaches already that have certificates of attendance for bondage courses. These do not make any promises about the quality of the student, how completely and not how well they learned the subject matter of the class. In short they say nothing about competence, they just confirm attendance. Competence Some systems do provide certificates once people reach a certain verifiable level and have obtained competence and required skills. A very few of these are credible because of the very high standards they maintain and because of the consistency of method they use to teach and to evaluate. Most importantly they also require a long term commitment to excellence. That is to say they are not just meaningless pieces of paper handed out to anyone that turned up and paid their money on one or two days. They spent weeks, months or even years obtaining serious skills. That then seems at the moment to be the outliers of certification, such as it is in rope bondage. My problem with general certification The reason there has not been a system of certification so far is that nobody really can agree on what basic competence consists of or how to satisfactorily measure it. This is why it has been the province so far of small, defined and dedicated schools. Certification, to be widely recognised needs acceptance by a large number of people and for that to happen you need standardisation. This is where the problem for me lies. People can, and do, argue to the end [...]
For many people it's a nerve-wracking step going out into the community especially to the myriad of events, workshops, munches and parties. This is especially because of uncertainty about what to expect and how to behave. Also how should they react to how other people behave? Here are a few things you should always be able to expect no matter what the event. To be treated with respect Not to be touched, slapped, spanked, groped, played with or otherwise molested without consent Not to have your personal space disregarded Never to be told that you 'have' to submit Not to be told how you 'should' behave To not have anyone make you feel uncomfortable or scared Here are a few rights that you should never forget you have or be made to be feel uncomfortable exercising You have the right say NO You have the right to your own opinion You have the right to disagree You have the right to be new and learning without that being held against you You have the right not to like some kinks, not everything's for everyone You have the right to completely disregard anything ever said by anyone who tells you you're not a 'true'... submissive, dominant etc. Common sentences beginning with or containing... All submissives/dominants are... All submissives/dominants should... All true... All real... Oh you're a natural... Oh you're not a natural... ...should be carefully analysed to determine their bullshit content. Many people come to kink via fiction of one kind or another. There's nothing wrong with this. Very many people do. Often these routes will include books, films, stories or fantasies... These things are very often not really true to life and in some cases present a very skewed view [...]
I've had the rare pleasure of interviewing some great people from all around the world. This is the very first interview I've conducted so I hope it's not too bad. Whatever I fell short on, Scott more than made up for. This first interview is with Scott Smith. I really enjoyed doing this interview and I hope you enjoy hearing it just as much. It was a real pleasure to get Scott's thoughts on the Festival, bondage performances and more.
I am not Mr Nice. When it comes to teaching I am not. I do do my best to be Mr Patient, Mr Understanding & Mr Informative. But let's be honest, you, I hope, didn't hire me to be your friend, you hired me to improve your bondage. Bondage is serious and can be seriously dangerous so I take teaching bondage seriously. I also take very seriously the responsibility of teaching. If you have a good time in a lesson that's just great, I hope you do. But that is not my goal. My goal is that you go away doing better bondage than you were before the lesson. If you're making mistakes I'll do my best to be Mr Tactful about it. However I will not be Mr Flattery, I will not deceive you into thinking that you're doing better than you are. Nor will I fill you with a false sense of confidence or accomplishment because I'm not Mr Disingenuous. I will not teach you beyond your ability, because I am not Mr Irresponsible. If you are not serious about wanting to learn, do not come to me. There are plenty of teachers who will make you feel good about yourself regardless of your ability. Go to them by all means if that is what you're after. Personally in lessons I'm not trying to be Mr Likeable. I will not praise that which is not praiseworthy. I will do my best to improve your rope as much as I am able. I am I hope Mr Conciencious. I am and can be many people. But! I am not Mr Nice.